you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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