just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
