Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
