Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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