i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize