a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
This is my gift to your gina
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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