Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize