dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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