I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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