yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
