Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
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It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
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You pole danced in your parka.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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