i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
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