Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
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