You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You are the jesus of drinking
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
