There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
