my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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