I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
