A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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