Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize