p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
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