I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
