why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
