my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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