Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
