I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
