They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
