I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
PANTIES FOUND
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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