Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
