Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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