At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
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