I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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