spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize