Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
