dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
