i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
