Whod you bang
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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