my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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