Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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