Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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