For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
