i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
