would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
