you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
