I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
