I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
