If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
