So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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