Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
