Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
