Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
please come you make the beer taste better
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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