By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize