thus making me awesome and them whores
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
