just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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