We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
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Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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