i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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