I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
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Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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