You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm like, not good at living.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
