I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
