Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
